A Single Focus

Most of us have grown up with the idea that somewhere out there is "the one"—a soulmate who will complete us and make us whole. We’ve been conditioned to believe that life’s fulfillment hinges on finding this person. But what if we’ve been focusing on the wrong thing?

In this post, we’ll challenge long-held beliefs about relationships and uncover a great truth that can transform not just our perspective on love but our entire approach to life. The truth is: Until I have a single focus in life, I will never be fully satisfied with my life.

The concept of a soulmate originates from Greek mythology, which claimed humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and two faces. When Zeus split them in half, they were left searching for their other half to feel whole again.
While this is an intriguing story, applying it to real-life relationships creates an unattainable expectation. Think logically: If one person marries the “wrong” person, it creates a ripple effect, and soon, everyone is “off track.” The truth is, no human can fulfill our deepest longings.

As Henri Nouwen wisely observed:
"When we expect a friend or lover to take away our deepest pain (or fulfill our deepest longings), we expect from him or her something that cannot be given by another human being."

Pastor J.D. Greear echoes this sentiment:
"Lonely, insecure single people become lonely, insecure married people. Because problems like loneliness and insecurity are not cured by another human being; they are only cured by the infinite love of God."

So where does this leave us? The answer lies in adopting a single focus—seeking first the Kingdom of God.

Jesus said in Matthew 6:33 (NLT):
"Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need."

What is the Kingdom of God? It’s God’s eternal realm, where His will is perfectly fulfilled. It’s also a present reality as we live out His values on Earth. Jesus invites us to prioritize this Kingdom over everything else, including our relationship status.

In Matthew 22:30, Jesus reveals a surprising truth: In Heaven, we will not marry. This challenges our cultural and even spiritual idolization of marriage. Why? Because in God’s eternal Kingdom, we’ll experience perfect oneness with Him—a fulfillment that no earthly relationship could ever provide.

Marriage is a beautiful illustration of this union, but it’s not the ultimate goal.

The second part of Matthew 6:33 calls us to live righteously. Before we seek a spouse with specific qualities or fixate on a partner’s shortcomings, we should focus on developing God’s character within ourselves.

Romans 14:17 (NLT) says:
"For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit."

Goodness, peace, and joy flow from a heart aligned with God’s character. They are not rewards for singleness or marriage—they are evidence of a life rooted in Christ.

True contentment doesn’t come from a relationship, career, or accomplishment. It comes from God alone. As Paul writes in Philippians 4:11-13, he learned to be content in all circumstances because of Christ’s strength.

When we trust God with our deepest desires—whether for marriage or something else—we find peace. We can say, as the hymn declares, “Christ, You are enough for me.”

This doesn’t mean we devalue marriage or relationships; rather, we place them in their rightful context. Marriage is not a cure for loneliness or a reward for righteousness. It’s a reflection of the oneness we’re meant to experience with Christ.

Let’s shift our focus:

• From seeking happiness to pursuing holiness.
• From finding “the one” to knowing the One who truly satisfies.
  
  

Until we develop this single focus, we’ll never experience true fulfillment in life.

Ask yourself:

• Where is my focus right now?
• Am I seeking God’s Kingdom above all else?
• Am I cultivating His character in my life?
• Have I found contentment in Him alone?
  
  

Let’s pray for God to help us refocus on what truly matters—His Kingdom, His character, and His contentment.

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need” (Matthew 6:33, NLT).